Authenticity

I missed a couple of Blogtober posts. I was so determined to catch up and to complete this challenge. That all changed yesterday. Directors Alex Rivera and Cristina Ibarra came to one of my classes to speak on their journeys as filmmakers and their new project. In the end, Rivera mentioned something that stuck with me. Create what brings you joy, what makes you excited, because those are the pieces that connect with other people. I have been reflecting on my content for the past twelve hours. A lot of the content, especially for this month, was because it is what I see works for other people. It is the type of content I like to watch and read, but is it the type of content I enjoy making?

In my first post, I mentioned not being sure of which direction I would be going. I thought I would have figured it out by now. I am trying to understand my desires by how excited I feel when writing certain types of posts. Of course, when brainstorming, all the ideas I have brought me joy and excitement. But writing, like I said, is different. It all depends on my mood. It depends on how motivated I feel. 

I want all my posts to be genuine. I also want to be one of those bloggers with a content calendar, and I do have one. The pressure of having this deadline makes me feel like I am writing a school assignment. I know that only working when I feel motivated is not the best thing. I should work even on those days when I don’t feel like it. But then I feel like my writing is forced. 

Sometimes an idea will pop up in my head, and I immediately start brainstorming. Others, I will just write down the idea. When it is time for me to come back and finish writing or start brainstorming, my excitement is no longer there. I feel like it is not worth finishing.

That may explain why my posts are not consistent. I do not want my writing to feel forced, but I also want to be consistent. As much as we say that we do not care about our engagement, we do. We would not be so focused on writing, nor would we want our blogs to be perfect if we did not care. I do not want to feel like some fraud because my posts were written out of a need to meet a deadline, but I also do not want to feel like a failure because I have not posted anything in weeks, and I work just when I have the motivation. 

I will not consider this challenge a failure.  Instead, I am going to use this as an opportunity to reflect on my content. In the meanwhile, I do have some Blogtober posts that are still going up.

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