Hay momentos en cual me siento orgullosa de mi cultura. Tan pronto como llegan esos momentos, tan pronto se van.
What is there to be proud of? The machismo injected in our veins? The erasure of indigenous communities? The anti-blackness? The cultural appropriation? The constant denial that any of these issues occur?
Sure, our music is wonderful, our food is delicious, and our art is powerful. But once you find out how much is stolen from Black and indigenous communities and how many singers are homophobic machistas, the magic and pride fade away.
I get so angry, I cannot enjoy those moments of pride. I can’t even enjoy a soccer game.
At a workshop I attended recently, someone said that we are “la cultura.” An by being part of it, by breaking those harmful patterns, we are creating a new subculture. And that culture is the one that deserves our energy.
It is okay to be proud and celebrate being Mexican, of being Chicanx. It is equally okay to be angry, ashamed, and critique our culture. What matters most is what we do with those feelings. For me, that is listening to the voices of people that do not have as much privilege as I do, and not correcting them. It is also educating myself, and eventually, raising a family that is aware of these issues and works for a culture that we do not have to be ashamed of.